Talk To Yourself to get an expert advise

At 0133Hrs.lt 15th of November I am feeling all empty. I tried to fill in my thoughts by watching a movie but Ut didn't help at all. There are times when I feel so great like I can do all the things I want but there's also this mellow moment where emptiness strike you unconsiously.

The news on TV with the terrorist attacked in Paris has been uproaring. Most of my Fb friends changed their photos in support of it but I still don't felt the trend to follow them because it seems death is inevitable to everyone.

I have been searching online on the masters I would like to take after working abroad. It cost 50k for a semester and seems it will take me more years to be a slave. 

Been asking myself, what is it that I want. What should I do with my precious life? Does all the great people I've read on the books has this kind of scenario. Have they been struck by emptiness? Does those prominent have dark moments and couldn't get into the reality of things. 

There's too much questions on my head right now. Its like terrorist are on going. It doesn't feel safe and I'm trying to figure out how could I help the world. I'm always in confident that I'm gonna make history with my name. I want to make something out of me, not the usual routine of human being. I know that death will be coming after me but before that happens I want to laught at it that I made my great share to for the rest of the people whom will live after me.

I think about those who I will left. Its insane that at this age of 23 I'm talking of this crazy stuff. Some of my similar age are maybe currently in love, pregnant, in their start of career, clueless, sleeping, looking forward to their dates, spending their salaries, or waiting for their favorite concert. 

Tomorrow, I'm gonna go back again to being slave. Its not literally slave like the previous centuries where you stay in a muddy place and then  harvesting for the landowners. Its 2015 so at least things have changed, but the system goes on. You maybe wear professional attire but the usual slavery of human goes on. You work for the food you eat. You spend life trying to fix problems of human beings. Well, some find great happiness with that but me I am not sure. It pays my bill but I dont live for the bills.

What is it with my life? I kept on questioning the entire thing around it. What? Maybe, I still need to figure out, the reason I am struggling still is that I am limited of information. I cannot explain nor understand what I want to get out of myself. Its not money at all, I know. I don't know where to start or have I come far already? 

I always make a reference to those that ahead of me. Those prominent people. Those that have been long gone and forgotten. What have they contributed when theyre on my age? Have they have this same scenarion at 2am, asking a lot of stuff? 

What is it that I seek? What is it that you seek? What do you continue to do what you do? Some people get satisfaction by the exchange of their hardwork. I am too but that is too shallow for me. There's deeper reason I want to get out of life?

It seems I want to start something. I want to try everything. I want to enroll into this, try this and that. Is it a crisis? Well, if a Psychiatrist would read this, there would be a bunch of labellings he/she will pour in. I refuse to be boxed out by those people. They too have their own crises. 

All I can say, its a relief to fire squad lots of questions. I am putting this into words so that maybe in a year or in few days I get to see the progress of my mindset. To know whats bothering me and why I am awake at 2am. This information are raw out of my head.

I guess, my human body needs a rest. I still have work tomorrow. The routine goes on but I'm making a way to break this. I must engage into something I like. The most interested job I want is to talk to people. Hundreds of people. A speaker maybe. Anything related to talking. 

Oh I remember a phrase, it says 'of course, you gotta talk to yourself sometimes... So you can get an expert advise'.

The Negative Environment Create Negative People

The usual Thursday today isn't as pleasant as the previous effort that we have always expected. 

Stress and irration came from the internal corridors of our office. Although, those who contributed this great distress weren't presently seen. They inject our environment with their personal negativity. The working area isnt condusive to produce progress and enthusiam. Respect for individuality has been forgotten.

And then there's this person who as if she knows the whole facets of business will blame you for the distress she have openly accepted to digest. Its as if when she's stress  you to whose adjacent to her must feel the same agony she's into. She'll give you all that negativity for her satisfaction and convienience. 

The most unacceptable was the unsolicited blaming of things. Like I am responsible for her own distress. She must really have that 'severe characteristic disorder' which was defined by Dr. Peck. After she bombarded you with her subconscious hatred she'll then asked you to work hard and make progress. I don't see someone after being treated unfairly would excel on her job which would benefit not the person but the one who scandalously shattered on firing her own delusional claims. 

When you treat someone without respect do not overwhelmed yourself to receive praise. Instead take out your natural thicked face because you'll definitely gonna get a counter attack of much worse shaming.

You dont contribute enthusiasm and growth by being the source of the problem. You don't encourage people by your usage of blame. That is the most cowardly act a high ranking position could resort.

You'll maybe in power for now but people will dessert you. There's always a duration of time that you'll be able to influence them then after a while they'll get tired of you too. 

My observation has never meant to destruct, its the learning of this kind of people that we'll be able to avoid or somehow assist on their internal neurosis. Lets also consider ourself if this type of environment is ideal to our own growth. 

The Beauty of Death

Take death as your guiding path. We're all gonna go through this phase. Therefore, if you want to waste your time partying or drinking or acquiring inanimate object, you have the free will to do it. Otherwise, make your life a reason of growth for your own and someone else.

The beauty of death is by looking at it as our road map. We never value our time unless we are being given a shocking ultimatum. It is as if we are exempted and death will never occur to us. We should acknowledge this fact on our decision. You'll realize that things go fast in a snap. Let's not have the notion of selfishness of enjoyment but looking after those that we love that will be left when we are gone. Let's give them more opportunity of growth. ~my thoughts at 1122PM

Book Review: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Book Review for Meditation - 

Marcus Aurelius

Well, I just finished again another great book and I've decided to make a short review of it as why one must read and appreciate its contents. Its a short one with around 166 pages.

The meditation of Marcus goes back to the centuries where the existence of beings are narrated according to the desire of nature.

We are created in this world because we have our roles to potray. We are all actors in real life. 

He shared insights of the people on his time. The characteristics he observed with the leaders of high position as they deal with the circumstances of life and their people.

He shared that we have the power to free ourself on the opinion of others. 

"You can rid yourself of many useless things among those that disturb you, for they lie entirely on your imagination~~and you will then gain ample space for yourself (for those that are important)."

That different things delights different people.

Another worth thing to note was the part where he tackled the irony of certain behavior and the importance of reading which is a neglected responsibility of many. Wherein reading is the source of wisdom that cures ignorance.

"You have not leisure or ability to read. But you have leisure to check arrogance".

Although, certain words are deep and jargon~ its necessary to be able to capture the essense of his thoughts during his era. The contemplation of certain events which must be according to the bounderies of nature. Stating that the sun doesn't take the work of the moon and vice versa. 

That each one of us are made for one another. That superior are made to compesate the inferiors. We must nurture each one or bear the agony of their ignorance which can be cease when we took the time to teach them.

"Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them".

Lastly, he reminded everyone that life on earth is a short stay. If there are opportunities that you see bear the fruits of wisdom, do it. Do not be hindered by temporary pain and inconvenience. Make the best of your time and ability. 

We must remember that everyone will go through death and ignoring it wouldn't exempt us as it is already a fact of life.

"A brief existence is common to all things, and yet you avoid and pursue all things as if they would be internal."

....that man's life is only a moment.

This is a classic book that I would recommend. Going backwards to the centuries, you'll understand that this behaviors observed by Marcus are contiously being upheld up to this present. 

SIGNS OF WORK CRISIS

I GOT BORED AT WORK. Not physicaly but mentally drained. Like I came to my maximum tolerance. I took all the great things to stay but the more I though of it makes me want to get out and find my right calling.

Are you staying because of a stipulated contract? Like your tied both your hands to stay at the same place. And its up to you how you work on your insanity to stay put. OMG. This is the hardest thing. You can observe my exasperated words becausr I wont question it if it fulfill my requirements. There's something lacking. And my life isn't infinite, I must be careful on where I put my time because that time is my life. I wont live forever to decide that I'll stay here bec the contract say so or bec it pays a high salary. FUCK THAT. 

Some of us here are sober that they think their immortal. We're all equal when it comes to death. We're all gonna go through that phase. They spend on what appears to be happy but shallow. They allow their being to be carried away by culture instead of their own.

I'm letting you know that the most important thing isn't the short happiness that you'll get on superficial thing but the wisdom of nature or life.

Take a leap. Get to that thing that you loved most. Its hard. It will be. Let your presence make an enlightenment to someone else. 

Those who laugh harder aren't really sad inside. Here's why:

I randomly see post saying that the saddest people are those that usually laugh harder or make the most effort to make someone happy.

Well, this isn't true as much as you want it to be true. They laugh harder and have external disposition of happiness because inside them reverberates its abundance. Its hard to give laugh when in inside it deficits. You cannot give what you dont have. So next time if you notice someone eject a happy state its because they have a lot of it internally. And their happy to share it with another person whose lacking. That's simple at is it. 

2am thoughts

I can't sleep.

After a month of vacation, tomorrow came the day of my departure.

Its deep in the night but still fully awake. I was planning on taking my sleep during the whole flight and let my eyes gaze one last more on the home I'm about to vacate. 

What's ahead of me? Can't answer this yet but I'm always making myself ready when that opportunity struck me. 

Being an ofw, I am somehow infected on their delight that working abroad has been a great leverage in life. Its like to them its an achievement of some sort. I dont know, I dont feel the same way as they do. Being away got me the chance to see the whole of what I have here (In Philippines). 

Its true that the income tax here are exaggerated and I know the significance of doing this by the goverment but I still get upset with the surrounding I see. The intensity of spending behavior where shocking. Most of them purchase for the sake of external praise and pride. 

Their means of information has been depended on whats being shown on tv. They know all the things twist going on the television. You can poke and make a long conversation with ramdom people by raising showbiz fuss which they responded with great knowledge. 

Theyre fashion are well updated but deep down with their very being there are emptyness with them that is lacking. Theyre so immense on rumors and other's backyard. 

Theyre into love life's and all the sort as if its the only concern that life could offer. Their updated with no classes alerts nor suspension of whatever issues not by the concern of natural forces but more on the benefit of ceasing them out of their work duties or classes. 

They are easily being carried away by the propagandas on the tv. They seem possessed by unlimited time to what must be done at hand as if death wouldnt happen to them at all.

 

They dont want to hear unsolicited truthful comments from their relatives or parents with regards to their deeds. They take it personally and shut them immediately. They never want the feeling of being corrected. They take all the bad remarks as direct insult to them-- to their being. But failed to use it as a tool to improve them. They are too insensitive of the facts being raised to them. Thus, they resort to committing more mistakes by avoiding what has been served to them. 

Life has its own way of unraveling twist of what ought to see. Let's make use of whatever circumstances throws us. If we are being battered by insults, unwanted comments, disgraced or any type of inconvience. Lets recycle that to get the positive side out of it. 

Remember: spoiled left overs are the best compost for the plants.